Words: 1518
Time to read: 8 minutes

I hope this Monday has gotten off to a good start for all of you and that you enjoyed the holiday if you celebrated.

I was able to get a lot of proofing done and managed to finish book three, put in the changes into the Vellum file, and start on book four. If I can get a book a week done for the rest of the month, I may actually be able to put up my ARCs in August and get all my preorders scheduled, too. Sometimes I get stuck reading the same paragraph over and over again, or I get distracted and have to reread a page to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I’m still thinking about my health, though not as much as I used to since I stopped drinking. That has made me feel better, lessened my anxiety, and took away a lot of the bloating I was experiencing, not only in my belly, but in my entire body. But I get distracted by social media and generally just my thoughts bouncing around because I’ve read these books so many times, and to be honest, I enjoy the second couple more than the first. I hope the second three books will go even faster since I like reading their stories.

Anyway, progress is being made, even if it feels slow to me, and the end is in sight. I started blogging about my books on my author site and I did get some opens from the email part of it, and some views from the WordPress reader. I reminded everyone they could download My Biggest Mistake and got some takers for that too. Though I don’t want to bother anyone, while I’m getting this series up and going, I’ll up my blog posts over there to twice a month. I’ll be introducing characters, sharing blurbs, talking about character inspiration, etc. I can’t let my boredom get in the way of promoting these books. I’ve worked on them for four and a half years, yes, and I’m tired, but there’s a reason why I worked so hard on them and putting them out without any promotion only to watch them sink would be insulting to all the hours I put into this series. So, I will do my best to build buzz and hope that it works.

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In other news, there’s a lot of disappointment on Threads (it’s really the only place I hang out to get my book news) about Neil Gaiman, in that he’s being accused of sexual assault by two young women. If you want to read the story and listen to the accompanying podcast episodes, you can look here: https://www.tortoisemedia.com/2024/07/03/exclusive-neil-gaiman-accused-of-sexual-assault/

I’m not going to debate anyone as to whether or not you think this is true, that’s not what this blog post is about. It’s about artists who behave badly. For a long time, JK Rowling was top news, people calling her a TERF because of the views she posts on Twitter (now X). I was never invested in Harry Potter–never read the books, didn’t watch the movies–so when her true colors started coming out, it wasn’t a loss to me like it was to millions of people. Neil Gaiman is the same. I have never read any of his books, have never watched any of the TV shows that are based off his books, but that doesn’t mean I’m not let down. We want the artists we admire to be decent people, and it’s sad and disheartening when we see evidence to the contrary.

I’ve been disappointed when it comes to actors and actresses, and I try not to let it bother me. I really liked Brad Pitt until rumors and allegations started coming out about how he treated Angelina Jolie and their children. I was a Johnny Depp fan, too, until all that stuff between him and Amber Heard came out. I barely knew who Amber Heard was, but I wasn’t racing to the movies to see Aquaman 2, either. It’s really difficult to enjoy art made by people who you know are crummy human beings.

And, of course, we can always move things closer to home. I have two huge paintings (6 feet by 3 feet) painted for me by my ex-fiancé.

They’re massive, and he sent them to me in a huge crate made of wood and particle board (we met on Twitter in 2016 and he lives in Georgia). I asked him to paint them for me, and, surprisingly, he did. They’re gorgeous, and two years after I broke things off, they’re still on my walls. One reason is because they’re so big, no matter what I decide to do with them will be a hassle. Two, because I don’t want to just give them away. I’d like to sell them, but again, that just seems like a big pain in the butt. Truthfully, he treated me like garbage for most of our relationship, lying to me and making promises he never intended to keep. He said he was in therapy to deal with some of his mental health issues, but he could never remember his therapist’s last name so I could look him up. Big red flag. We were in a long-distance relationship for a five years, and honestly, while I was dealing with my health issues and hysterectomy in 2022, I just couldn’t take it anymore. So, it would be nice if I could get rid of his paintings hanging on my walls, wash my hands of the whole thing, and move on from the last four years of my life as well as I can. There’s not much I can salvage or want to salvage from our relationship, and to heal, mentally while I’m healing physically, I just need to completely let go.

I’ve seen careers take a hit because people insist on being their “true selves” online. One writer was ousted from an anthology for his MAGA views and being a Trump supporter. The other writers didn’t want to work with him, and they threatened to pull out of the anthology if the person putting it together didn’t push him out. I’m not suggesting you hide who you are (yes, please let us know so we can avoid you!) but the fact is, constantly voicing your thoughts and opinions about politics and religion will inevitably rub someone the wrong way because your points of view on those kinds of things can tell someone a lot about you. After witnessing that for weeks, months, or even years, they may decide you’re not the kind of person they want to be associated with.

People argue about this, mostly so they can retain their right to leave poor reviews on their peers’ books (and why would you do that when you could lift someone up instead?), but when you decide to become an artist/author and set up a social media presence, what you put out there is for public consumption and I feel you should behave accordingly. You may insist you have a right to voice your opinions, but people also have a right to disagree with you and you’re courting mob mentality. I’ve been a victim of that a time or two, and not even on a large scale. People decide to pile on and before you know it, you have to delete your social media account. That’s a worst case scenario, I’ve never taken an account down, but it’s a real hit to your mental health and self-esteem.

When we behave badly or express our opinions online, we’re taking the chance that we’re going to let our fans down. I would never want someone to not want to read my books because of something they saw online or because of something I did. It’s difficult to enjoy something made by someone you know is a jerk, and it can be worse when they’re more than just jerks. They hurt people, like Neil Gaiman hurt those two women, or like JK Rowling hurts trans people whenever she opens her mouth.

Can you separate the art from the artist? Sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t. I wouldn’t avoid a movie that had Brad Pitt in it, but I wouldn’t watch it just because he’s in it. I’ve managed to tolerate the paintings in my living room, looking at them without seeing them, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll do that, even if they are beautiful. We get invested in who we think these people are through their work and how they act during public events, and then when their (private?) actions portray a different kind of person, we feel betrayed. No one is perfect, and I guess it’s up to each person to decide how much imperfection we can deal with before we decide it’s not worth it. I don’t want to support someone who’s not a good person, giving them my money when they don’t deserve it, and I feel fortunate I didn’t get invested Harry Potter, or any of Neil Gaiman’s work, or any of Kevin Spacey’s projects. The list can go on, really, and all we can do is stand by the artists who are decent people–until they prove to us they’re not.

Have a good week everyone!