I actually had a different blog post planned for today. I had it all written out, but I was rereading it and after thinking about it, I decided not to publish it after all. We’ve had so much talk lately about authors who can’t handle their reviews, and we see evidence of it all the time. I’m not on TikTok, but I’ve watched reaction videos of authors who publicly go after reviewers for their honest reviews, (though some would say negative, even vindictive) and I really started to think about the kinds of information authors share.

Not just me, but any author who shares their numbers, their empty sales dashboards, their private messages, publicly. I’ve shared numbers in the past–how many books sold, how much it cost me, how many page reads after a promo and how long it took. That kind of thing. Authors who drift into the non-fiction space almost have to post some kind of proof of success or failure if they’re giving marketing advice. If I’m going to share my ups and downs publishing my books, then it’s almost a given to say, well, I paid $200 for ads between FB and Amazon in the month of May and I made $235, so really, I made $35 bucks. That’s the transparency we need as authors looking for marketing advice, and that’s the honesty we should be putting out there if we’ve chosen to share our journeys.

But then I think, authors are public figures and what we do and say on social media is put out there to be scrutinized, but not just scrutinized, scrutinized by readers who could find what we’re saying. This blog and the information I share is definitely different than what I put in my newsletters, and honestly, I don’t know how I would feel if any of my readers stumbled upon this website. We like to think readers and authors are separate, but with social media, they aren’t. (And we keep saying that authors are readers too, so…) They really aren’t. My numbers (or lack thereof) concerns them. It concerns the money and time they spend on my books, and mixing my readership with the contents of this blog doesn’t sit well with me.

I was going to share my numbers after my Fussy Librarian promo last Friday, and to be honest, I was disappointed in the results. But as I started to reread it to proof it for mistakes before I posted it today, I was ashamed. I had no right to be disappointed because in that disappointment, I discounted every reader who downloaded the book during the promo and every reader who will go on to buy books two and three. No, it didn’t pull the bigger numbers a Freebooksy does when I buy a promo from Written Word Media, but that only tells me their newsletter subscriber list is bigger. And we pay for that with a higher fee when we book with them.

I want readers to be proud they’re reading me. Proud to say, “Yeah, that VM, she’s classy. She doesn’t crap on other authors, she doesn’t splash a bad review everywhere and complain about it. She doesn’t post private messages everywhere making fun of people who reach out to her. She has a cute cat, drinks watermelon wine like me, and likes to read sexy romances in the tub. She’s my people.” That’s what I want readers to feel when they buy one of my books. That’s what I want readers to feel when they stumble upon my IG or sign up for my newsletter, or even God forbid read this blog.

I obviously don’t write for the money. If I pulled all my numbers for my lifetime of publishing, I would be in the red. Bottom line, I have put more time and money into my books than I have ever gotten back in royalties, but maybe that’s no one’s business but mine. Do I have dreams of speaking at 20books or NINC? I used to. (No, not really, I don’t EVER want to get into public speaking.) I wanted to be able to say, this is how I did it. I wanted to be able to encourage other authors and say, “If I can do it, so you can you.” But maybe I don’t want that anymore. Social media has become this dumpster fire of entitled authors who have such a thin skin they get pissed off when they get three star reviews. It’s terrible. I don’t want to inadvertently get meshed in with them, either. “Oh, that Vania, she’s complaining about how her promo did again. Ugh.” And the more you put yourself out there, the more of a chance there is of that happening.

So, that was what I was thinking when I reread my blog post that was supposed to be up for today. Was my Fussy Librarian successful? Sure. I had 1,257 downloads of Give & Take when it was free. I wouldn’t have had any if the cover was crap or my one sentence ad copy line was terrible. Have I sold anything? I sold 9 Give & Takes, 4 Lost & Founds, and 3 Safe & Sounds. If you count every sale, every reader, a success, then yes. My Fussy Librarian promo succeeded. Did I earn my fee back? No. Will I? I have faith in my books. I will eventually. I know I will, just not at the speed that I hoped. I can give myself permission to be disappointed, but my disappointment isn’t for public consumption. Readers and Authors mix on social media on a daily basis. My disappointment may not be for public consumption ever again.

So, where is this blog headed? I’m not sure. I’ve posted Monday and some Thursdays every week without fail for 7 years. I’m not a quitter and even if I don’t post hard numbers, I still feel I have a lot to share. I’m dipping my toes back into the non-fiction side, listening to podcasts, reading more non-fiction books. I want to share resources, but that’s hard to do when I’m not consuming them to pass along. I’ve been in a bubble with my own writing, and maybe blame my reclusiveness after COVID or my drive to get my pen name going (I published my first book in May of last year), but I haven’t let my attention go anywhere else and I know I need to, if anything, to grow as an author.

So, I will leave you with this: a chat between Kevin Tumlinson of Draft2Digital and Jane Friedman, on D2D’s Facebook page. I’ve tried to find it on YouTube as they post their videos there, but I couldn’t find it, so I apologize in advance if you’re not on Facebook to watch it. I’ll keep an eye out for it and if I find it, I’ll post it ASAP. Here is the link, and the screenshot is from D2D’s FB page: https://fb.watch/l4wVa0M6rS/

I hope you have a good week, everyone!