2,015 words
11 minutes read time

I haven’t written anything in days. Stalled, I’ll look at my manuscript, edit what I have (again), get to the end, and do something else.

Whatever the reason for it is, I guess that’s not really the point because this isn’t a post about writer’s block or a missing muse or trying to find motivation when there doesn’t seem to be any around. This post is mostly to just mumble through some thoughts on what you do when you call yourself a writer but you’re not writing.

I see this a lot actually, authors who try to hang on to the #writingcommunity by the skin of their teeth because it’s the only place they feel like they belong. They post about the books they’re reading or the books they’re trying to write, bouncing around from manuscript to manuscript hoping for a spark of inspiration, talk about the games they’re playing (a surprising number of authors are also gamers I’ve found), anything to stay connected. Anything, except writing something and publishing/querying it, as writers are often expected to do.

The deeper you’re ensconced in the writing community, the harder it is when suddenly you’re not writing. I see this too, authors taking their blogs down, taking their websites down, Facebook author pages, Instagram profiles. Even their books.

Back when I was still drinking a lot and kind of bitter, I wondered what I’d do if I stopped writing. At that time I was thinking about stopping because my books weren’t selling, and I just wondered if maybe I should chuck the whole thing. Now if I think about it (with a clear mind), I don’t think of completely stopping (and take culpability for my sales or lack thereof), but I think it would be difficult to stay as connected as I am dropping down to a book a year. The level of my involvement in the indie-publishing space would surely take a hit as it’s really really difficult to maintain a blog about something you’re not doing anymore–especially a blog as active as mine. Four times a month at around a 1,000-1,500 words a post is a lot of content. Since I cut down on listening to podcasts, reading nonfiction books on craft and marketing, and watching webinars, my content has gotten repetitive and stale. Lots of my posts are author updates, and if I’m not making any progress on a WIP or not actively participating in the author/indie-publishing world, those updates will be full of nothing and pretty much useless.

I mean, just because I haven’t written for a few days, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop completely and fade away into obscurity, but it does make me wonder how far I can step back while giving value to this blog and to my readers. And not just me, how anyone who does step back can contribute to the writing community in a meaningful way. If that’s what you want to do, and I get that not everybody does.

Plus, I’m coming at this from an indie helping indie standpoint, something that I truly do pride myself on because I like helping other authors in a time when everyone wants to be compensated for every little thing they do for you. But it’s doubly concerning when you’re not writing and you need or want to update your books’ readers. What then? In past blog posts I’ve suggested recommending other books, but that only lasts so long before your newsletter stops being about you and just turns into a curated list of books you enjoyed reading.

Then you have to take a look at the money you’re spending to stay connected. Lots of authors don’t pay for their websites and they’re on a free newsletter plan. But software like Canva can get a little expensive if you’re not using it regularly, and subscription services like Booksprout and Bookfunnel aren’t worth keeping if you don’t need a review and delivery service. Some of that I’ve locked myself into because all my books have back matter that directs readers to my website where they can download My Biggest Mistake through Bookfunnel. That’s too much back matter to change and I would rather keep paying that than edit all those files (and pay to do it, too, on IngramSpark).

I’m caught in a spider’s web, but it’s not a bad place to be. If eight years ago someone would have told me the position I’d be in now, I’d probably say I’ll never stop writing and shrug off any warning. Out of anything that I’ve “tried” this “hobby” is my favorite and even if I’m not writing as much as I used to, I’m content.

So what to do then, if you’re a writer who’s not writing? You can always support other writers and authors, but eventually that would get old. How long can you cheer for someone doing what you want to be doing? I mean, I assume you still want to be doing it otherwise why not shut everything down and never look back? I’ve known people who have done that, unpublished their books, taken down their socials and disappeared. In the days of pen names, it’s pretty easy to do. Not that their reason was that they wanted to stop writing. Life can get hard and writing as a hobby is the first thing to go. Or some say “forget it” when they don’t see the sales they want, realizing this might be a little harder than they thought, and moving on to things that don’t need so much time/money/energy. Writing is a hobby after all, unless you’re making a living wage and depend on it to pay bills. It’s rather a depressing realization, the thought that where you are is probably where you’ll always stay. Some can’t handle it. Work smarter, not harder, but even that doesn’t help. Writing to market doesn’t help, writing and publishing quickly doesn’t help. So, yeah, I’ve had friends disappear, and I just wonder how much courage it takes to completely shut down and walk away.

When I was trying to get my newsletter up to compliance and I unknowingly knocked down my website for two days, I can still feel how sick I was inside. Luckily, I pay for a plan that gives me access to tech support, and the WordPress chat was able to explain what I did and get my website back up in only a few minutes. I get 20-50 views of my Canva paperback book cover tutorial a day. I was saddened to think of the people who tried to read it and couldn’t. Even though that was a long time ago, I still hope that they tried again or heard in a group or something that it was back up. So yeah, my websites and blog means a lot to me, and so does my newsletter and so does my reader magnet because I’m proud as hell of Brady and Allie. [https://BookHip.com/CMSVSNK}

I didn’t stop writing for good. I’m not sure if I could ever do that. But going for so long without writing anything and not feeling bad about it (well, that’s not totally true or I wouldn’t be writing this post) does give me pause and makes me think about what I would do if I didn’t have this in my life. I wouldn’t still try to be part of the writing community. There would be no point. I’ve made friends that I would probably still chat with, but I don’t know how long it would last. When you met because you’re both writers, after you strip that way, you’d need something else to build your friendship on.

We like to say our lives are full of seasons, chapters, however you want to split up your life, and my past chapters are still visible in the people I followed on LinkedIn and the groups I joined on Facebook. Even some of my friends there are from my HR days, and there’s no reason to keep them on. I bet I could lose a good twenty people if I unfriended my old community college friends, teachers, and connections I made through the Fargo/Moorhead Human Resources Association. And before that I was running six miles a day, but I think between then and now I’ve been able to get rid of most of that. Every time a group that has to do with running or nutrition pops up on Facebook I leave or unlike the page. I bet it would take a long time to get rid of my writing chapters. Eight years of newsletters and Facebook groups, friends, and connections. Where would I go from here? I’ve got twenty, maybe twenty-five years left on this earth, not too many more because I’m already tired and don’t think that I’ll be spared the cancer that has appeared in my family in various ways, but if you leave something behind, something inevitably takes its place. A new job perhaps, if my mental and physical health could handle the pivot. I’ve been with my job for twenty-four years, and at my age, changing careers wouldn’t be impossible but nothing I would look forward to.

So I guess all in all, this is a really long post on how would I fill my time and if I could do something else and not look back. I envy authors who have other hobbies like needlepoint or baking. Nothing like that interests me, in fact, knitting or crocheting would probably make my carpal tunnel worse than it already is. I could just go back to reading, but I’ve turned my writing hobby into content I push out into the world, so if all I did was read or watch TV I’d need to turn that into kind of a review thing or I wouldn’t feel like spending my time doing that was worth it. Which probably isn’t healthy considering doing an activity just for the sheer enjoyment of it is the best reason to do it. Hustle culture is real, y’all.

I could say it’s interesting to think about, but it really isn’t. It’s a little scary. Of course, you can use that fear and turn it into motivation, but then you’re writing for the wrong reason. You shouldn’t do anything out of fear. I’ve said that plenty on this blog. Don’t make decisions on your writing business because you heard something and you’re afraid. Always make the best choices for you, and if there are repercussions later, then deal with it. You have no idea of the opportunities you could be missing.

Even if I just do a thousand words a day, I need to finish this book. Then I won’t have to actually write anything new for a long time. I have Loss and Damages to edit and package and then the book I’m writing now, Wicked Games, would need the same treatment. After that I have those two books in my next series to edit, probably rewriting some of the first one to cut out the number of books I had planned. Book three in that series will be the next thing I’ll need to write from scratch, and that might not be until this winter. Though, I don’t want to start dreading writing, either, or I might as well just call it. I never understood people who forced themself to write, as if they needed to hang on to the #writingcommunity above all else. Life is too short to force yourself to do something you don’t enjoy. And I do enjoy writing. I do. There’s a saying that goes something like “I like having written,” which is true too. I love going back and reading what I’ve written during my last writing session, but everyone knows you can’t read what you’ve written if you haven’t written it. It’s a conundrum we writers face every day.

Now it sounds like I’m babbling, and my Word icon at the bottom of my laptop screen is mocking me. Time to publish this post and switch over to Seth and Avery. I have the whole day in front of me. Let’s see after such a long break what damage I can do.

Enjoy your week!