Tag Archives: cheating

Romanticizing Cheating (In Fiction)

Posted on by
4

One of the most talked about things that happened last week was when the CEO of Astronomer, Andy Byron, attended a Coldplay concert with his mistress and HR chief, Kristin Cabot, and got caught on camera.

photo taken from: https://people.com/astronomer-ceo-andy-byron-resigns-following-viral-coldplay-kiss-cam-drama-11775506

Of course, the first thing I thought was, “What’s Astronomer?”

The second thing I thought was, “That’s too bad. They looked cute together.”

The third thing I thought was (as someone who has an HR degree), “Is she going to have to fire herself for fraternizing?”

The fourth thing I thought was, “How can we learn from this from a craft perspective?”

Going all the way back to the beginning of time, we’ve been taught to view cheating as this horrible, vile thing that we should never do, and the responses online validate that belief over and over again. Andy, and Kristin too, were called some pretty nasty names, and the general consensus was that they deserved each other.

As someone who was married for about fifteen years (what is time 😵‍💫) and has since divorced, I never thought it was as clear cut as that. Marriages, relationships, fall apart all the time, and for the most part, it’s not anyone’s business why. We don’t know what’s going on in Andy’s home life that warranted him stepping outside his marriage–he and his wife could have simply grown apart. We tend to need to place blame, automatically calling him a bastard for hurting his wife and her a bitch for dating a married man.

Where does this thinking come from, in a society that celebrates couples staying together for fifty plus years, even though, at the end, they can’t stand to be in the same room together and have slept in different beds for the past thirty. There’s failure in divorce, failure in not “sticking it out.” No matter how miserable you are. Being unhappy is the American Way.

I bring up divorce because everyone thinks that’s the solution. Don’t cheat, have the integrity to get divorced first before you start seeing someone else. And I think, up to a point, that’s true. But divorce can be messy, it can be expensive, not only paying for attorneys but for what happens afterward (I have seen on more than one occasion couples who have gotten divorced but still live together because they can’t afford to move out), and if you have little kids, complicated.

It probably sounds like I’m defending Andy, just another rich white guy fucking around and not liking the finding out part. That might be what he is, and maybe I’ll get backlash for being, if not understanding, a bit sympathetic, at least. But I’m thinking of cheating in terms of, well, how romantic it is, not the kind of people they look like because they did it in the first place.

There’s a reason why forbidden love is a trope, after all.

And done right, readers love it.

In a private group I’m a member of on Facebook, an author polled her readers, asking them what tropes they liked best. I won’t share the group, but she said we could share the results–you have to give her your email address to download the pdf–and you can find it here through Bookfunnel: https://BookHip.com/QDMZAFS (this is not an affiliate link)

Anyway, I was a little surprised by the results. She gave her readers these tropes to choose from:
Billionaire, Alpha, Age-Gap
Cowboy, Small Town, Medical Second Chance, Love Triangle, Cheating
Enemies to Lovers, Arranged Marriage, Secret Baby
Holiday, Workplace, Fake Relationship
Secret Identity, Motorcycle Club, Rejected Mate
Ugly Duckling, Celebrity
Friends To Lovers, Grumpy/Sunshine, Second Chance

I think she got most of them, maybe she forgot Mafia, or even true forbidden romance that can fit into any subgenre. Anyway, want to guess which trope came in first?

Second chance.

But the second was cheating.

That kind of took me aback not only because Andy and Kirstin were the top news story on social media when I downloaded Maya’s reader poll results, but because I have written the cheating trope and was warned there are two different kinds and I would be in big trouble if I chose the wrong one.

One kind is where the characters are married and they cheat with other people to find an HEA outside their marriages. Readers don’t want their main characters to be with other people. So when you write a romance where your characters are already married when they meet and start their relationship, you’re going to have some unhappy readers.

The other form of cheating is when you have characters who were involved with people who were already married and something happens. Characters die or they leave the people who were taken and go on to relationships with characters who are available. They’re still cheaters, but it’s softer somehow, more acceptable.

My rockstar trilogy is full of cheaters. Well, kind of. In Twisted Alibis, Sheppard falls in love with Olivia, who he thinks is engaged. It turns out her fiancé had committed suicide and she still wore her ring out of guilt and lost dreams. He struggled with that, and it affects how he deals with his depression. In Twisted Lullabies, Eddie cheats with Clarissa, who happened to be married to one of their bandmates. Her husband’s murdered, but that doesn’t make it easy for Clarissa and Eddie to be together. Eddie finally confesses to Sheppard, and their conversation is one of my favorite scenes:

“When Olivia and I met, I thought she was engaged. She wore an engagement ring, and I took that at face value as I’m sure many would. I tried to fight how I started feeling about her because I knew it was wrong, but the way she would listen when I talked, the way it seemed she always knew what I needed, how she would wrap herself around me as if she were trying to absorb all my pain . . .” He sighs. “After you and Brock were here and we talked about Derrick . . . I needed her as badly as I have ever needed anything in my life, and I went out to the beach and kissed her. I didn’t care she was engaged, in fact, I blamed him for letting her be here at all. I didn’t care. All I knew was I couldn’t live without her. That’s when she told me. That’s when the paparazzi took that picture of us in the water.”

Olivia sniffles and wipes a tear off her cheek.

Shep stares at the photo, lost in thought. “It scared me, that my feelings were so strong I would try to steal another man’s woman, and I grappled with that for a long time. What kind of person that made me, what kind of person Olivia would have been had she been willing to cheat on him with me. When love is dirty, but you crave it, need it to survive. I suspected Melody was seeing someone, but it wasn’t that she was. It was that she felt she had to hide it. Honesty is important, and she should have told me she was in love with Dalt and divorced me properly. I don’t know what Derrick would have done if you’d told him the truth. It sounds like he didn’t want her. Maybe he would have just let you have her.”

The only way Clarissa was able to escape her marriage was the way things went down, but I say, “Sharyn wouldn’t have let him let her go. She wanted to turn his reputation in the press around, and she did. He went from a rich, rockstar playboy to husband of the year practically overnight. The tabloids loved pictures of them, and I bet Sharyn leaked those herself. I begged Clarissa to leave him, but she stayed because she has integrity. She stayed because she knew she’d made a mistake and thought she should pay for it. She stayed long after Derrick died because—”

“Because she knew Mason’s yours and she wanted to be a family.”

In Twisted Lies, Agatha had been seeing a married man and confessed to Brock, thinking that he wouldn’t be able to see past her mistake. His conversation with Eddie is another scene I loved to write. (Trilogy link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CDQJ28SB)

We look down on cheating in real life, calling people nasty names for disrespecting their spouses, but using cheating as a plot point can bring a lot of complicated emotions and feelings to your story because cheating doesn’t always come from a place of selfishness. People can’t control who they fall in love with, but how they handle that can be classy or trashy.

Astronomer issued a statement, and I wonder after this if Andy and Kristin will stop seeing each other. I guess it depends on if he wants to save his marriage (if his wife will even let him try), or if he doesn’t, if he and Kristin can get past the shame of not only being found out but how they reacted to it.

Astronomer is committed to the values and culture that have guided us since our founding. Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability. The Board of Directors has initiated a formal investigation into this matter and we will have additional details to share very shortly. Alyssa Stoddard was not at the event and no other employees were in the video. Andy Byron has not put out any statement, reports saying otherwise are all incorrect.
https://www.mensjournal.com/news/astronomer-breaks-silence-on-ceo-andy-byron-coldplaygate

What’s funny is I think he wanted to be–found out, that is. You can’t go to a public event like that without knowing you’re taking a risk. Even if the camera hadn’t caught them hugging, they could have ran into any number of people who knew them and thought it was suspicious they were together past working hours.

So, where does this all go? Cheating in real life is icky, but cheating in fiction (like the TV drama Scandal) is so yummy we can’t get enough? Is there hypocrisy there? I think a lot of it, if not most, is that when people do it in real life, like Andy and Kristin, we don’t have any context, and when we see it in movies, TV shows, and read it in books, we get all their heartbreaking reasons why.

That’s addicting, and maybe we don’t want to admit it, but . . . relatable.

Humans are messy, and if you write them right, so are characters. To have a full character arc, they need to make mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and come out better people in the end.

Maybe Andy’s full character arc includes resigning from his position and “finding himself” in whatever way that makes sense to him. My characters had a lot of regret too and moved on the best they could.

He might not have chosen to have his affair blasted all over the internet, but I have to admit, sympathetic to his and Kristin’s plight or not, it would be perfect for the beginning of a funny RomCom.

And you can be sure, the next time they meet up, it will be in a private hotel room with room service.

I actually just bought a romance novel that centers around cheating. I grabbed it when I went through my BookBub email newsletter. The cover drew me in and the blurb made me click. If you’re interested, you can find it here:

https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Chances-Cosette-Hale-ebook/dp/B01M146WPF

One lie. One affair. One chance to take her life back.

Audrey Hale has it all—a devoted husband, a dream vacation to the Virgin Islands just days away, and a secret she can’t wait to share.

One moment, she’s holding four positive pregnancy tests. The next, she’s cradling a broken dream—and a gnawing suspicion that her husband’s late nights have more to do with sex than sales.

The worst part? Her best friend—the glamorous, magnetic Natalie— might be in on it.

When one heartbreak leads to another, Audrey is left raw, vulnerable… and searching for truth in a world that’s quickly unraveling.

And the only person who seems to be there for her is Natalie’s husband—Harvey.

He’s off-limits.
He’s furious.
He might be the only one who sees what’s really going on.

As secrets are uncovered and stolen glances become charged, the line between comfort and temptation starts to blur.

Because betrayal cuts deep—but desire cuts deeper.

Writing a taboo subject: is it worth it?

Posted on by
4
Dictionary Definitions from Oxford Languages ta·boo noun noun: taboo; plural noun: taboos; noun: tabu; plural noun: tabus a social or religious custom prohibiting or forbidding discussion of a particular practice or forbidding association with a particular person, place, or thing. "many taboos have developed around physical exposure" Similar: prohibition proscription veto interdiction interdict ban restriction boycott nonacceptance anathema Opposite: acceptance encouragement a social practice that is prohibited or restricted. "speaking about sex is a taboo in his country"

When you choose to write about a subject that people consider taboo, you’re setting yourself up from the get-go for readers not to like your work–at least, not that particular project. Incest is a big taboo subject (even today people still bring up VC Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic–a popular book wherein a brother and sister begin a sexual relationship), along with cannibalism, religion/rituals, bestiality, torture, necrophilia, among other things.

What people consider taboo will vary from person to person, and when you write about a sensitive topic, you’re taking a risk that the majority of your readers won’t mind or can get past the topic at least long enough to buy and finish the book.

Book covers take from Goodreads

I don’t find many topics off-putting. I read Flowers in the Attic when I was younger, and reading about a brother and sister having sex was wicked and thrilling (at the age I was, reading about any sex was thrilling, haha! [If you don’t know by that comment, yes, I am an GenXer]). Sometimes a book will catch me off-guard, like Nora Roberts’ Sundown where a character is kidnapped and raped repeatedly throughout her life. I love Nora Roberts and have never had a problem with any of her books. I enjoyed Sundown as well, but I don’t remember Nora being so violent on the page. Still, I wasn’t upset and finished the book, an angsty and quick read for the length it is. If you want an example of ritual animal sacrifice, you can check out her Divine Evil which opens with a little girl watching her father participate in the ritual. It’s a flashback and has to do with what the book is about when the little girl is an adult and goes back to her hometown. I had to Google for the name of it, as I read it a very long time ago. The paperback said it was published in 2009, but I wasn’t reading much then, so it may be a re-release. Yes, I looked and the original copyright is 1992–I’m not crazy after all! Good to know!

I have found while reading both indie and trad books, taboo subjects are best swallowed when they are written well and have a reason for existing. In some of the indie I’ve read, authors confuse violence and shock value with conflict and insert unnecessary violent scenes when, with better writing, they needn’t have added it at all. Alluding to and writing it explicitly on the page are two different things, and you have to decide for yourself if writing it out in gory detail will enhance the story. It may not, and referring to it can suit your purposes all the same.

I’ve only been thinking about this because my trilogy involves cheating, and that, too, is a taboo subject for some people. In doing a brief bit of research before I started my rockstar trilogy, cheating among band members is, perhaps not typical, but it can happen. I’m hoping that cheating in a rockstar romance is considered tropy and not unsavory.

What are some of the things you can do to set up your book to have a better chance sales- and review-wise?

*Warn your readers. I’ve said in the past I don’t need trigger warnings and for the most part, don’t include them in my blurbs. There are a couple reasons for that, one mainly, is the rumor that Amazon will bury your book’s discoverability if you include a trigger or content warning in your blurb. Some bigger authors can get away with that–they have a loyal fanbase and don’t depend on Amazon’s algorithms the way smaller authors do. Amazon can bury your book’s ad, too, so they get you twice if you run ads to your books. Simply saying your book includes sensitive themes may not be enough. What people consider sensitive can vary greatly and being vague in hopes of tricking Amazon may not help. What you can do is add all your triggers to your website and point your readers there in an author’s note at the beginning of all your books. That may be a better way to go.

I use Booksprout for reviews before launch, and I will definitely include a trigger for the trilogy. They are also long so I’ll add that as well.

*Have a reason for including the taboo. Most taboo subjects will have a plot reason for being in your book, but make sure that if you’re writing a rape scene or you’re going to get graphic with child violence or the inhumane treatment of animals, that there is a need for it. Is it a clue in a thriller/mystery? Does the act move the character development forward . . . or backward? Violent scenes are not filler and shouldn’t be used to manufacture conflict.

*Have your characters learn from it. Cheating is actually fun to write about. Characters feel guilty falling in love with a person who is “taken.” They can learn a lot about themselves and other characters when they explore doing something that would be considered off limits. If you’re going to write about something taboo, make sure your characters (and maybe your readers as well) learn from it. Why is it taboo, and how do they justify the act? When is it okay to do it, and when is it not okay? Where is there a line? I love a morally grey character. That’s life, and none of us are perfect. We cheat on our income taxes, don’t correct a cashier when she forgets to ring up an item, don’t return money we found on the ground. Little things that would cast someone in a bad light if someone else found out about it. It doesn’t make us bad people–we have a lot of different facets that make us who we are. A reader will have an easier time reading something like cheating if your characters learn from it, or if there is a really good reason for why it happened in the first place.

I finished watching Daisy Jones and The Six last night, and there is some cheating and some alleged cheating, in it. I don’t want to spoil the book or the show for you if you haven’t read or watched either, but at one point the question came up, if you’re married to someone but are in love with someone else, should you honor your vows? Do you stay in a relationship you don’t want to be in? You never want to be with someone if they think you’re an obligation, and Daisy Jones explored that. In book 2 of my trilogy, Eddie fell in love with his bandmate’s wife. It turns out Clarissa was being abused, and Eddie protected her. She was too scared to leave her husband, and Eddie took matters into his own hands, another piece of the plot.

I’m not sure how well my trilogy will be received, but all I can hope is I executed them well enough that while readers may not condone what my characters are doing, they can feel sympathy toward them.

I don’t have much else this week. I compared my royalties with my ad spend for March, and I came out ahead, whoo-hoo! You really gotta watch those ads. Sometimes they can take off and eat up your money faster than a kid can eat through a box of cookies. I would have to do more math, but I’m ahead by quite a bit this year already, my trilogy doing good things, and my one-night-stand standalone doing well at .99. I think I’m going to leave it at .99 for a while. The FB ad is running with some likes and shares (social proof is always a good thing) and I make page reads off it, too. It can be my “gateway” book into my library for those who aren’t Kindle Unlimited subscribers but want to try my books. People are risk-averse, especially with new-to-them authors. Even priced at $4.99 for a full-length novel, if you’re writing in a series, you’re asking a reader to spend a lot of money on you. So I’m comfortable leaving Rescue Me at .99 indefinitely, I just need to make sure my FB and Amazon ads are running at profit to that book since I only make 35% royalties off ninety-nine cents, or a 1.32 for a full read in KU.

The third book is going well. I’m 19k into it at the time of this writing, but will be farther along by the time the post publishes. I’m hoping to be done with it at the end of this month–I still have my eye on publishing the first one in August.

That’s about all I have! It’s April, and it doesn’t feel like spring, but it will be nice when the weather starts warming up. We have a lot of snow, so I’m praying that the river near our apartment building isn’t going to flood. Not like a terrible flood–it usually does a little every year, but the amount of snow we got in the past couple weeks alone is worrisome. I will keep you posted!

Have a great week, everyone!