Moving the Goalposts: The Feeling of Not Doing Enough

1,343 words
7 minutes read time

toy soccer ball with toy goalie net. green background.  text says: moving the goalposts. the feeling of not doing enough

Years ago when I saw someone say being an indie author felt like always having homework, I laughed, but I didn’t quite believe it. When I was in school, I hated homework. Back in high school, anyway. College was a little different, and when I went to tech school to get my HR degree, I actually enjoyed homework and group assignments. I suppose age could have played a part in that, because I think as we get older we just naturally appreciate things more and I was grateful to have the resources to go back to school.

Anyway, so when it came to my writing and all the stuff that went along with it, I didn’t compare homework, a seemingly endless, joyless, task, to what I had to do to write, publish, and market my books.

But, when I wrote my blog post for last week, I realized that no matter how much an indie author gets done, there is always going to be more to do, and instead of being excited for the next cover design, formatting job, or editing sweep, it turns into a version of Groundhog Day that we can’t escape. That infinity loop also sucks the joy out of the past accomplishments, and something to be proud of, like a book release or the cover of a book that comes together perfectly, is just an item on the list that needs to be checked off.

When I really thought about why we never feel like we’ve done enough, a few things came to mind.

Because we’re indie: We control everything — writing, editing, marketing, covers, social media — there’s no external validation from a boss or coworker nor is there a stopping point we can work toward. There’s always going to be another social media post to create to keep your profiles from stagnating. There’s always going to be a newsletter to send out. Another ad to create. There’s always a WIP to work on because we all know that writing the next book is the best marketing and front list sells backlist.

Moving the goalpost: We hit one milestone (a release or a finished draft) and immediately reset the net. I think this one is what I was particularly feeling writing my blog post last week. No matter how much I accomplish there will always be more to do. Another goal to score, another game to win.

Comparison culture: We see other authors posting “I just hit 10k sales” or “my preorder is live,” and that fuels the sense we’re behind. This one is particularly triggering for me because I have a terrible fear of missing out. I don’t want other authors to be doing something I could be or should be doing too.

The creative push to keep moving forward: Creatives are wired for “what’s next?” The next book, the next painting, the next drawing. That desire to create makes us prolific, but it can also burn us out. This one I understand 100% because once I start thinking about characters for a new book, they don’t leave me alone until I set them free on the page. I mean, that’s a great place to be in–I never have to worry about writer’s block or what I’m going to write next–but it’s also draining because I don’t let myself properly rest between projects . . . or celebrate something I just achieved.

Lack of (what you consider) success: This one probably hit me the hardest because with all the books I have out, with all the hard work I’ve put into my author career in the past ten years, I don’t have the sales I hoped I would have. So I’m always reaching for that next book, that next social media graphic, that will get me there.

The indie hustle culture: This kind of goes along with comparing yourself to other authors. We see on social media what other authors are doing, but at the same time, there’s an underlying feeling of not doing enough and getting judged for it. You see it on Threads when people start their posts with, “It might not mean much to some . . .” or “It might not be a big deal to a lot of people here but . . .” We are constantly afraid that we’re being judged for our successes and achievements, and while a lot of people will tell you to stop worrying about what others will think because no one is watching you, for as many people who don’t care what you’re doing, there are just as many who do and are judging you. “You’ve only written one book this year?” “You’ve only made fifty dollars this week?” “You don’t post on TikTok? How do you expect to sell books?” “When is the rest of your series coming out?” The hustle culture online is real, you can see evidence of it every day, and it’s just another reason why you can never be happy with what you have because it will never feel like it’s enough. And it will never feel like that so long as someone you see online is doing more than you.

So, what can we do to combat this? It’s a question that I’ve been dealing with since the beginning of 2025 when I came to the conclusion my books would never be a business and that I would never make any meaningful earnings from it.

It was a disappointing and disheartening realization to come to, but it was freeing in some ways. I stopped my Facebook ads. I took time to go into my backlist and re-edit a few titles. I don’t stress about the fact that I have written only one book this year. I don’t let myself feel bad if I don’t feel like writing and would rather watch a show instead. Do the low sales numbers bother me? Sure. I think any author who publishes to a site where readers have to pay wants sales. But I just remind myself there is a lot of content out there and I can’t be, and don’t want to be, everywhere online. Creating content when you don’t feel like it is just as stressful as forcing yourself to write when you’re not in the right headspace.

But, no matter how many times I remind myself to loosen up or brush away those pesky feelings of inadequacy, they always manage to pop up, which is why I wrote my blog post last week to begin with. I needed the reminder that yes, I have accomplished a lot this year, and more than acknowledging it, I should celebrate it. Even if I closed my laptop today, after I schedule this post, and don’t open it again until January first, my 2025 year in review would still rock and it really has nothing to do with how much I’ve made this year and if I managed to break even with all that I’ve had to pay for to keep my hobby afloat.

I wrote a book I’m proud of. Maybe it won’t make me any money, but I wrote it with my whole heart, and I love Seth and Avery. I wrapped up five years’ worth of work when the last of my King’s Crossing serial released, and I doubt I’ll ever write anything like that again. I applied what I learned and re-edited three of my standalone books. I’ve helped hundreds of authors make their own book covers using my Canva instructions. I edited for someone who couldn’t afford to hire out and helped her get that much closer to publishing her next book.

It’s easy to forget even your biggest accomplishments when the to-do list never ends. Give yourself credit for everything you’ve managed to do–this week, this month, this year. Being an indie author really does feel like having homework sometimes, but maybe it’s time we start grading ourselves on how happy we are with what we’re doing, not on our output or the outcome of it.

And stop moving those goalposts. Run past them and don’t look back.

Cabin Fever and 8 things you can do to survive it

Cabin fever is gross. You’re squirrely, you want to go outside, you feel fat. In my case, I feel like I’m suffocating because I haven’t let fresh air into my apartment since December.

Even though March is right around the corner, and with that, hopefully spring, it’s hard to keep faith when you wake up to temperatures like this:

instagram temperatures

 

I posted this on my Instagram account this morning. When will we get better temps? Maybe in four to five weeks.

But who’s counting?

seasons-of-the-year-1127760_1280

What can you do to battle dreariness of cabin fever?

  1. Go outside anyway. If you’re living in a region where you wake up to this for four months out of the year, then you’re used to it. Get dressed, bundle up, and take a walk. Get some air, appreciate the snow, if you can. Remember how hot it will be in August. Throw out some seed for the birds, buy some peanuts and feed the squirrels still making the best of it. I took a walk the other day when temperatures were above 0, and it was nice.snow trail goosberry
  2. If you don’t want to go to outside, at least go out. Grab coffee with a friend, or let your kids run around the mall (if you have a decent sized one). Find a coffee shop and do some writing. Getting out, even if it’s cold, is better than staying inside and eating your way through a bag of Doritos.
  3. Speaking of junk food, eat better. Right now our produce is slowly starting to return to normal prices (Six dollars for a pint of strawberries? You gotta be out of your mind!) and fruit is starting to taste like fruit. Summer bodies are made in the winter. Start now, eat better, maybe go to the gym if you have a membership. I have a Planet Fitness not two blocks from me, but I don’t have a membership. I prefer to go outside when I can, but this prevents me from being able to workout regularly. I should buy a membership–it’s not like I don’t have podcasts to listen to while I’m on a treadmill. And ration out those Girl Scout cookies you bought last week from the girl down the street. Yes. I’m looking at you.
  4. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a shower.  Look, I get it. This time of year is horrible. I suffered from depression for a long time. With the issues I’ve had this winter, it’s easy for those feelings to come back. I’ve had surgery, I’ve dealt with a sick cat (cleaning up after her, and paying for the vet was HARD AND STRESSFUL), I have car problems. My husband isn’t around anymore (okay, that’s more of a plus, but still) and I’m alone, taking care of my two kids. My daughter’s school has been closed due to severe cold and blizzards and has had late starts, too, and both have interfered with my work schedule. All the snow this year has made me need to shovel more than ever before–Note to self: Never have carpal tunnel surgery in the winter. And yes, that has made me down. The lack of sun, the lack of fresh air, sometimes you just wanna cry. Cry–in the shower. Get dressed. Getting dressed can make a world of difference. Put some makeup on. I’m not talking about real depression here. If you need real help, then go get it. Thinking about hurting yourself is NEVER okay. Seasonal depression, cabin fever, situational depression, a down feeling you can have but will go away, that’s what I’m talking about.

    seasonal depression

    For more information about seasonal depression, click here.

    situational depression

    For more information on situational depression, click here.

    I have really bad situational/seasonal depression right now. But things will perk up. I just have to push through until they do.

  5. Never underestimate the power of family. Spending time with your family can help. If you’re feeling down, the first thought is always to distance yourself. If you have family around you, spend time with them. I just scheduled a dinner and movie night with my sister. It might be -10 below by the time the movie is over and even after its 3rd car appointment tomorrow morning, my car may still be leaking oil, but I’m getting out there.
  6. Make progress in some way. Keep chipping away at your work in progress. If you have a different hobby, work on that. Schedule little goals for yourself and don’t forget to reward yourself for doing them.
  7. Help someone on a deadline. If you can beta read, or grab and ARC for a review, maybe that can help keep you accountable. Someone else is counting on you. I just took an editing job. She needs me to get it done–and I will.
  8. Take your vitamins. I’m not a doctor, and anyone who takes meds needs to consult theirs before adding anything to their daily routine. I take adult gummies. The B vitamins lift my mood and the Vitamin D probably helps too.

All you can do is tough it out. Spring will come, in some parts of the world sooner than others. In Northern Minnesota, we probably won’t see a true rise in temperatures until early April. But I have a few things to look forward to between now and then, namely a new book release that I am anticipating very much. I’m also doing busy work with putting my books wide. I’m trying to stay busy, and I hope that it works. swimsuit quote

Find some things to brighten your spirits. Even if it’s just buying a new winter coat for next year–they’re all on clearance right now, right? Just avoid the new display of swimsuits, because nothing will make you feel worse than trying one of those torture contraptions on.


If you suffer from depression, seasonal or otherwise, please get help. If you’re reading this, please know I care about you and want you to take care of yourself!

If anyone needs:

The depression hotline number is 1-866-233-3459. They have a website that includes other resources, and you can find it here: https://www.psychguides.com/guides/depression-hotline/

The suicide prevention hotline number is: 1-800-273-8255 and their website is
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

book with daisies

 

Hang in there!

Let me know what you do to combat the cold and crazy cabin fever!

I’m still working my way through my series . . . .

jared and leah for end of blog posts