1,873 words
10 minutes read time
Last week I had a shock when I went on Facebook. I had a notification that said they removed a photo due to explicit content regarding a minor. The picture was from eleven years ago, and knowing that, I can guess what it was: a picture of my daughter on our bed snuggling one of our cats. Harmless. I would never put anything online that had the potential to hurt either of my kids, and the accusation, from nothing more than a Facebook bot, upset me a great deal. I felt dirty and gross, and honestly, confused because that picture had been up for eleven years.
It didn’t help that this came after TikTok decided a couple of my carousels were made with AI, and in a fit of anger, I deleted both of my profiles. It wasn’t the accusation, not really, but those two carousels performed worse than most of my others and I assumed that was the reason. I wasn’t going to put time into making content for a platform that was going to accuse me of doing something I wasn’t doing and then punish me for it by shadow-banning my carousels and videos and suppressing my account. Especially since whenever I scrolled I saw lots of AI content with a ton of likes–so you know those videos and carousels were being shown. Maybe I was too sensitive and had a knee-jerk reaction, but I had also gone a few rounds with them before with a different account. I had my videos and slides taken down for going against community guidelines when I would post steamy scenes, but then I’d see other authors post much steamier than what I was and not only get away with it, their posts were pushed to the “for you” page.
Then, if that wasn’t enough, I was scrolling Instagram, and my boosted post showed up, but the description wasn’t what I had written to go along with the graphic. I had forgotten to turn off the AI option to rewrite my description, and while that version wasn’t too messed up, it didn’t sound like me. Going forward I’ll turn it off, but it was an irritating lesson all the same.
I wasn’t able to let go of Facebook flagging my photo for a long time, and writing this post after the fact is probably a good indicator I still haven’t. I’m more upset about the loss of my TikTok account since for once I was having a bit of fun creating content, and I was getting likes and saves of my carousels. It’s disappointing not to be able to use a platform a lot of authors are using to push their books, and the hypocrisy behind why I can’t or why I won’t will rub me raw for a long time. I could have appealed–not doing so probably just seemed like an admission of guilt–but I also know from experience that once TikTok starts eyeing your account, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. So, for my mental health, I gave up.
Incidents like this aren’t going to go away. In fact, as AI usage ramps up, things like this will continue to be a common occurrence. Fighting it seems like a wasted effort, like bailing out a sinking boat with a spoon, so what can we do to at least not hang on to things that are beyond our control?
Get out if/when you can, and if not, be prepared to fight
There are certain things that get shut down that you may not want to live without, like your Facebook Author Page that you run ads off of, or your Amazon KDP account, if we’re being drastic but still realistic. Accounts like that are shut down simply because bots make a mistake and when it comes to Meta and Amazon, talking to a human to get things resolved is almost impossible. Some never win against Facebook and some only win against Amazon if they have an advocate like a representative from the Alliance of Independent Authors reaching out on their behalf. Sometimes it’s not easy to walk away, but it’s better for your mental health, like me deleting my TikTok accounts. I didn’t want to. I really didn’t because I was in the mindset to try to use that as a real way to reach readers, but I wasn’t going to put up with a platform that undermined all my work, especially when what they were accusing me of wasn’t true.
If you decide to fight, having a plan will help. Figure out who you can reach out to, be it someone at Alli or an IP lawyer. If you decide to walk, make peace with it the best you can. TikTok’s hypocrisy will rub me the wrong way for a long time. I just need to get into the groove of posting somewhere else, like IG, which doesn’t seem like it has such arbitrary guidelines to follow.
Remember that it isn’t your fault
This is a big one with me and that Facebook accusation. I would never post anything that would hurt my kids and knowing they took down a photo because of something like that will make me feel icky for a very long time. I know that there’s no way possible for a human to look at the amount of content that gets posted every day, not to mention all the content that has accumulated over the years, but that doesn’t make it better. And the hypocrisy here too, makes it sting because we all know Zuckerberg was at Trump’s inauguration, and Trump has a questionable reputation at best.
No matter what platform is giving you a hard time, there’s a 99.9% chance that what happened isn’t the result of what you did. (There are always going to be people trying to game the system, and unfortunately, when things like this happen to people who haven’t done anything wrong, they’re collateral damage.)
Don’t let AI hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. There are plenty of real people who will do that for you.
Find alternatives
Fortunately, there are a lot of places to hang out online. I don’t need Facebook. In fact, after that happened, I was tempted to take the app off my phone. I rarely post on my personal page and only post on my FB author page a couple times a week, if that. The only thing I would lose not posting there anymore would be the ability to run ads, but I could still do that if I didn’t scrap my account altogether. Instagram is a good alternative to TikTok and there are other places that I could post to that I never have before like Pinterest. I’ve heard Lemon8 is popular but they’re owned by the same people who own TikTok so I’d probably end up with the same problems. Best not to repeat any of that. But finding one platform that you like that you can commit to will take some of the sting away of having to avoid others.
Or figure out what you can live without…it might surprise you
Once I got over the anger of having my carousels tagged as AI, getting rid of TikTok didn’t seem so bad. Even though I was getting good at it, making carousels took time. Not only did I have to make the graphics in Canva, but I also had to pull the snippets. Not having to do that anymore was actually a blessing in disguise and took off a lot of pressure I didn’t know was there. I was trying to build an account from scratch and every post save and like encouraged me, but in both good and bad ways. You start to build momentum and don’t want that to stop. I was able to blame TikTok for stepping away instead of myself, but whether it’s a valid excuse or not, it was a relief. I know I said above it felt like a loss when I deleted it, but I can always turn my carousels into Reels. I just haven’t taken the time to do that yet.
You may decide not to post on social media at all, and that’s fine too. Finding different ways to get your book seen, like running ads and buying promos, can fill in some of that gap, but AI is everywhere and it may take some testing to see if you’re jumping from the pan into the fire. I haven’t run FB ads for a while, but I hear turning off the AI components is getting harder and harder to do. Instagram is still easy when you boost a post. Find the toggle on the right and turn it off.

Whatever you do, take care of yourself
When it comes right down to your choices, you have to do what’s best for you. When the universe closes a door it opens a window, or something like that, and maybe something that feels like the end of the world actually opens you up to other possibilities. I used to really miss Twitter, but I don’t anymore. There are a lot of nice people on Threads, and getting away from the toxic environment was good for my mental health in the long run.
Will Facebook ever take down another photo? Maybe. I have a lot of pictures of my daughter when she was small cuddling on our cats. How Facebook decides what’s explicit, I have no idea, but it could happen again. I’ve had my FB account for seventeen years and I might just take ten minutes every day and start deleting albums from around that time. No one is going to go back and look at those pictures anyway, so there wouldn’t be a big loss in getting rid of them. They give you an option to download before you delete, so that’s always something you can do too, if you think you need to purge some old content there. It sucks you have to do it at all, but since I’ve become an author I’ve started to very carefully weigh what I put online anyway.
You can’t control the bots, the mistakes, or the algorithms. But you can control where you go next. AI is here to stay, so take precautions, take care of yourself, and if you let him push you around, let him push you somewhere better.
As part of my “favorite things” segment, I’m highlighting romance author Jennifer Probst’s nonfiction books and her Substack. I love the down-to-earth way she thinks about writing and publishing. I have to admit, I’m a bit behind and I only read the first one, but the other two are on my list, and I read her Substack whenever she publishes a new one. You can find the links below (they are not affiliate links.)

Write Naked: A Bestseller’s Secrets to Writing Romance & Navigating the Path to Success
https://www.amazon.com/Write-Naked-Bestsellers-Secrets-Navigating-ebook/dp/B01N16FESI
Write True: A Bestseller’s Guide to Writing Craft and Achieving Success in the Romance Industry
https://www.amazon.com/Write-True-Bestsellers-Achieving-Industry-ebook/dp/B08FLGFLL5
Write Free: Personal Essays on Craft, Career, and the Writing Life
https://www.amazon.com/Write-Free-Personal-Essays-Writing-ebook/dp/B0G1D358TW
If you want to subscribe to her Substack, you can do it here: https://substack.com/@jenniferprobst
Thanks for reading! See you next week!






















